Gumby's Trailer Trails

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xx Hoklahoma USA
February 23, 2013, 12:46:40 AM by Gumby1
Howdy travel fans! Been way to long! I am in Oklahoma City! By some strange coincidence so are a couple of hundred thousand angry cattle! Of course if somebody wanted to grill your ass would you be happy? I think not! First of all fire HURTS! Second of all no matter how many times you may voice the phrase EAT ME when it comes down to it I think that most people would rather NOT have it actually have it happen! Nuff said! Weird ass weather has followed me! 70 degrees last Sunday 21 degrees this morning! Not Celsius Two heads that would take us back to the grilling thing! I hope everybody is doing well and I look forward to getting back on line with you soon! Peice of meat out!
xx Alabama mamma Jamma!
July 24, 2012, 05:14:21 PM by Gumby1
Well I am back from the deep south! What a trip it was! Top Gear couldn't have produced a better show! We had fireworks on the 4th of July! Then we had FIRE! Yep a real fire! Supplied by none other than one of my rather thoroughly intoxicated employees! It is astonishing how fast wiregrass ( aka Pampass grass ) will burst into flame in drought like conditions when introduced to the explosive side of a rocket! AMFUNKINGMAZING! The screams of FIRE FIRE FIRE were quite entertaining also! When I heard the cries of distress from the mentally handicapped partiers outside I went into battle mode! I grabbed my trusty fire extinguisher and jumped into the fray! WHOOSH! I shot it at the base of the fire! It exploded from the nozzle like a poot at church! I could hear the fire LAUGHING at it in derision! HAH! I rallied the tards and attacked again with the garden noses that we stole for the occasion from the neighbor! He didn't really care! Of course it was his yard! In the midst of the battle I sensed a huge presence on the scene and turned to find the largest ( Rotund ) fireman I have ever seen! With the help of Enormo and the crew the fire was eventually extinguished! He did aquire a small burn for his efforts but I thanked him profusely and put some salve on his burn. The moral of the story? It's not over untill the fatman stings!
xx Iran
February 19, 2012, 05:08:57 PM by Gumby1
Just a little note on the whole Iran thing thats going on. I think that there is absolutely no reason not to believe Achmandidyabad when he says that Irans Nuclear program is just a peaceful means of producing power. No I don't want to hear oh they blew this up or they supplied these people with weapons or they persecuted that denomination! No No No! All they have in mind is world domination and the destruction of the way we westerners live in thier entirety. Don't be complaining if sometime in the future you are in your knees singing praises to Allah against your will! They are peaceful loving people and they are entitled to everything we got. So There!
cheesy Nebraska land of the wandering bovine
May 28, 2011, 07:39:07 PM by Gumby1
For all you not so well read people a bovine is a cow or bull or if the bull has misplaced his Testes a Steer. For every blade of grass in Nebraska I think there is at least one of the afformentioned animals. They even got parking lots for them where they stuff them full of food called feed lots. Try not to get downwind of one of these bovine parking corrals as the wind has a particularly rank flavor. I have never seen so many cows in one place. I am thinking this could be the reason that beef is whats for supper. That old lady would never be able to utter the words wheres the beef in this local I can assure you. UM the lady's in this area certainly have had there share of the old beefsteak judging by there enlarged posteriors and slightly larger than normal midsections! But hey if you got why not eat it right! Over all a nice place here. I will give you another report next week. Feel free to indulge yourself in the poll that I have created in the general section under Can you read! I will be waiting excitededly for the results!
xx Larry Moe and the 3 Dwarves
March 03, 2011, 05:22:40 PM by Gumby1
Hello Sports Fans! :redneck: I am still stuck in the middle of a cornfield in rural Indiana! The reason this post has the title it does is because of the high quality painting contractor I aquired to do my store. I have probably just slandered Moe and Larry in a bad way just by comparing them with the painters. I am fairly sure that they aquired there skills at the Indiana State School for Blind painting contractors and sign language. I also have no doubt that they were at the head of the class. Their classmates were last heard yelling green side up at a sod slinging party. The actual town that I am in is pretty nice. You should have at least a small affinity towards corn or you wouldnt like it! No cats! None! 14000 people and not one cat! 3 Chinese resturaunts could be the reason. I can't figure out what they do to make a living? I am stumped. They can't all work at the fast food joints can they? Maybe thats where the cats went? Strange? I am almost done here so I will be back on TS in about a week. No cats? Weird? :redneck:
xx Give him back!
February 09, 2011, 12:39:28 AM by Gumby1
I don't know who the misanthrope was that took old two gourds but we want him back! Who else can I trust to ruin my night when I am in town! What the sam heck is wrong with people anyway! The servers been down for two days! How am I supposed to live up to my bad reputation?
xx Wants my name?
January 21, 2011, 11:10:07 PM by Gumby1
Hello sports fans! It seems that somebody has taken a liking to the my name! Imagine! Somebody else wanting to be 6 inches long and rubber with noone but a horse for a friend! HMMM! Sounds like the beginning to a horrible porno script. Well all I have to say is get your own name! I forget who hung this one on me years ago but I done got used to it! I have worked till I am green in the face to live up to being a rubber and I am not giving it up now! Me and the ass ARE STAYING AMIGO! :redneck:
xx Where the HELL have I been?
January 17, 2011, 11:55:59 PM by Gumby1
As the title implies I may be more than a little con-fus-ed these days! I was in the Illinois for a while! Home of the fighting Illini! What the hell is an Illini you say? Ask our beloved ghostly737 for that answer he hangs out with the whole lot! I personally never knew there was such an animal as a redneck from Illinois but I have had my thoughts adjusted in that area by the intervention of A: a Redneck from southern Illinois B: Said rednecks fascination with home brewed liqour! I stand corrected! I also had the unwanted and unwarranted pleasure of partaking in the hospitality of some Razorbacks of the Arkansas variety! I had no idea that they grew more rice than a chinese farmer on crack! But I do now! Redneck rice cookers! The mere thought! Sheesh! I do apologise for my lack of wit my son has been hanging around me with a cyclone following him around! Got me going nuckingfuts! I will be travelling to the great state of Indiana shortly. I will attempt to mantain long enough to regal you with tails of ineptitude and moral idignation suitable to your stature in life! Adios mi amigos! :redneck: :redneck: :redneck:
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