Gumby's Trailer Trails

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xx Like Willie said!
November 11, 2010, 03:49:46 PM by Gumby1
On the Road Again!
                  Well it is I! Getting ready to head out for Arkansas! State of our former President! The Blue Dress soiler Billy the Hammer Clinton! Birthplace of the biggest set of thighs the State Department has ever sent to a foriegn soil. (oh come on it's Hillary) Never been there but I am looking forward to doing a review of the local livestock handling practices for our readers. I know that when I return to this modest blog you will have solved all the worlds problems and I will have nothing to write about. Like tuition hikes in the UK! Idiots in Indonesia! The lack thereof in DC! The new book by Ben Bernanke! How to print your way out of a recession! All the good stuff. I will be on from time to time to agitate and annoy those who can stand it! Leaving you more confused than an Irish Thermos owner! :redneck: OR Resevoir! Mon Anus!
xx What a Maroon!
September 10, 2010, 11:34:52 PM by Gumby1
Hey everybody!
                    I am safe and sound in Asheville, NC! Home of the famous Biltmore Estate! Man that is one big ass house! Kind of hilly here! Hmmm what does this place remind me of? Wait its coming to me? Just a second? Oh thats right! It looks a lot like where those fricking tree humpin splinter dicked Corntuckians are from! I need to keep an eye ball out for stragglers! Don't want to be the unfortunate victim of a log JAM if you know where I am coming from? It's a darn good thing I noticed that! I do believe that since Disney has been on veacation in Ratland we should get a little breakdown of his trip? What do you think people? WOOOHOOOO! Tell us all the details! Was ya eating the old Viagra like M and M's or what! Did you put the old 4 hour rule to the test at the Majic Kingdom? When I get back on the TS I will interrogate you further! LOL! Oh I guess I owe you an explanation about the title of this post? You ever heard it said that there are no stupid questions? Well I found out where all the stupid questions reside! They are stored in the head of the guy we hired to do the job in WV thats where! Its a damn good thing he is 350 miles away or we'd have been doing the tango already! If he makes it thru this one I will be dumbfounded! More later I assure you! If I make it thru with my sanity I will see you later!
xx Uh Oh!
August 12, 2010, 07:56:24 PM by Gumby1
Uh OHHHHHHHHH! Looks like I am heading off to the mountains of West Virginia for a time! I am having visions of a certain movie I will not mention at this time in fear that I will talk myself out of going! Not to worry! I will pack enough ammo for all the anal loving hill dwellers just to be on the safe side! One whisper of banjo music and I will lock and load so fast there heads will spin! :redneck: On the real side of it I do believe I will take my 4 wheelers with me and do a little exploring while I am in the Blue Ridge state! Lions and Tigers and BARS oh my! I will be heading out this coming Sunday evening and staying 2 to 3 weeks! Lucky me gets to train a NEW guy to do our stores! I hope he isnt a traveller of the short bus! What do I look like a perfessor! :redneck: Sheep dip! He better bring his own stinking pencils! And crayons! And Banjo! I don't do winders! Or diapers! Crap! What have I gotten myself into!
xx Durham
July 25, 2010, 04:12:02 PM by Gumby1
Hey Troopers it is I! I finished the Durham thing! Found out that Durham is famous for having the worlds Ugliest Crack-HO! That was a Kodak moment I can tell you! Got to see round one of the 1st annual Olympic Crack-ho Cat Fighting competition whch was extremely entertaining until the law showed up! (they ruined it) The winner was able to parade (sans bra and top) for about 45 minutes around her yard much to everyones delight! Next year they will be going bottomless! That is the rumor. No one will be attending due to the smell. Last week I was in the mountains of WV riding 4 wheelers with the Misses. The mountains there are truly I sight to behold! The trails were awesome. If you have an urge to get away this was a great place to go. It is called the Hatfield and McCoy trail system. No there one no toothless hillbillies waiting to rape innocent passers by! LOL! None that I could see though they may have been preoccupied with another group of campers! LMAO! Was that Banjo music I heerd Clem? Boy you got a purdy mouf! LMAO! I digress! Until next time! Keep your wood outta the stumps!


xx Snake pit
June 23, 2010, 05:50:06 PM by Gumby1
 :redneck: OK race fans! Im OFF! Literally and mentally! I am just getting ready to leave for the 2nd annual ( for me) Snake hunt in Northern PA. Yep there is going to be fun to be had for all ( except the snakes ). I will be playing Sunday morning for the folks that make it thru Saturday without getting bit for the morning service. My guess is that if they can handle a mad pit viper then my singing should be a breeze! Comparitively speaking! I will speak with you all when I get back! ( Good Lord willing and the snakes dont bite! ) :redneck: :redneck: :redneck: YEEEEEEEHAWWWWW!
xx Chicago Land of the Obamites
April 01, 2010, 02:55:18 AM by Gumby1
Hello fellow travellers! It is I the King of the Road Gumby! This month I think I may have set some kind of personal record for mileage. Near as I can tell I am at 4000 and some change. No wonder my ass hurts! I been sitting down for a week! Been interesting though! Found a store named? Yep you got it Gumbys! The last exit in West Virginia on I-70! Cold beer and cheap cigarettes! WOOOO HOOOOOO! I am now in the town of Joliet at a little trailer park. Not to bad except the blackwater tank on my trailer is stopped up. I may have to hire a Corntuckian scuba diver to fix it! Have to be careful not to let him slip down the pipe though! Kinda hard to tell where he would stop and start. Well I got to get some sleep peoples have a good night. :redneck:
xx Texas
March 22, 2010, 01:20:42 PM by Gumby1
I am in TEXAS! Everything is BIG in TEXAS!  :redneck:
xx Vegas
March 21, 2010, 12:36:18 PM by Gumby1
I am proceeding with my mission into the southern region of the country. The mother, brother, sister humpers are no where to be seen! I must have left them in Kentucky when I escaped ther clutches the first time. The sheep here in Alabama do seem to be on edge! There are strange people here with black skin. Looks like they were burnt in a microwave I will update you further at a later date. Gumby out!
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